By Nomsa Rhudo Mwale.

This week, the column has taken a rather unorthodox approach by revealing what a real lady goes through in their everyday life.

Thoughts are what make us. If you think of evil then pain and destruction follows, but if you are at peace with your thoughts then joy follows. Womanhood is a growth by law and not artificial and only by the causal root and effects it emerges into what is called motherhood.

We were all at some point girls and we grew into the women who we are today. We used to be so innocent and could only understand little of what is in reality. James Allen says that “Of all the beautiful truths pertaining to the soul which have been restored and brought to light in this age, none is more gladdening or fruitful of divine promise and confidence than this that man is the master of thought, the molder of character, maker and shaper of condition, environment and destiny.” Everybody determines their own destiny with how they handle their life issues.

Being a lady and in my early 20s I understand very well how life can be tougher for a fellow lady but no matter the case, giving up on the best us is not an option. We are far much important than how the world sees. We carry the nation in our hands as it is said that you educate a girl child, you educate the whole nation. We are too much for an underestimation. The problem with most of us is that we look at situations from a glance and do not try to understand the reality of things. We are so influenced by the trivia in our life and we end up losing our selves to the beast that destroys everything you have planned for.

It is ok to be afraid but not ok to feel insecure about yourself. Always be that strong lady who will stand for nothing but only the most beneficial side of herself. Do not let other people’s opinions define you, you know who you are and what you are capable of, and it is your responsibility to let that glow light out and be the best you are supposed to be. You cannot run away from humiliation, mistrust, misfortune and the people who will not like you for who you are but that should never make you feel insecure because somehow you are somebody’s shining light in ways you do not know.

Friends and even family sometimes will try to pull us back and make us lose focus and it is not necessarily because we can never do better in life; rather they are afraid of our potential and are afraid that our dreams are turning out very brighter by the day and that our success is a threat to them. Do not be shaken but rather believe in yourself.

Beauty is not an instrument to sexual immorality. It is not a tool to sourcing financial satisfaction for yourself. There is a lot of valuable things your beauty deserves than an old man who has a family and only wants nothing but take that precious treasure you have. To be honest, there is no way these men who spoil us with all these fancy things are going to take us home and even ourselves. We know these things but I wonder why we keep on doing them. A real man who cares about you and wants to take you home as a wife will not be found in a club, fellow ladies. Good men will not be chased by you but rather they will chase you.

When I say “chase you” I do not mean coming after you after they have seen your hot photograph on social media or have seen your great ass or body and are actually asking you out to a bar or even a club. A real serious man will take it slow with you and will not rush into doing anything inappropriate with you. Having a big ass or a beautiful face should not be your main asset to destruction. Good things will come only if you work for them, short cuts will always take you back to where you started.

Do not feel unsatisfied with what you now have. you can never be craving for a fancy fabulous life when you have nothing. This is what drives you into doing things that you are not supposed to do. Learn to always understand that you can only be yourself and not somebody else in the same way you cannot live other people’s life when you have yours. The best part will be that you just slightly changed the position but at the same time you are losing yourself and beginning to rock yourself up in a closet you will not be able to come out.

You are a lady and worth more than what the world holds. Be independent, know and discover your potential. There are a lot of things life will offer and only the wise will decide what to take and what to leave. Do not get into something out of desperation and never take paths you will never get to where you are going. Life is worth living and cerebrate it in all kind of ways but at the same time it is worth being handled carefully and reasonably.



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