TO BE A LADY, A MALAWIAN LADY IS NOT A JOKE

ThE SeXy DiVa!

By Yamikani Bwanali (Brown Skin).

Fellow Sexy Divas, if you’re as uptown as I, the Brown Skinned Sexy Diva, then the hit, To Be a man, by our very own Dan Lu should be no stranger to your encephalon. It’s about the pangs of being a man; a Malawian man. The agonies he undergoes all in the name of being macho enough to his family and friends.

The unfortunate part of the song was that, a woman was left out of the scenery. Perhaps it could have been out of context. Whatever the case, Sexy Brown Skinned diva has decided to also unveil what it means to be a Malawian lady. Lemme clear myself out! I’m in no way demeaning the pivotal role our dudes play in a Diva’s world. No! However, there are a selected few that are not only nuts but also dunderheads who have nothing good to offer to us, Sexy Divaz, and Slay Queens alike, haha! Have I just said that??

You see! Some of us Sexy Divaz do have only that Prince-Charming in our hearts. But what does he do? Shitting with your bestie! Yeah! Dem dunderheaded Dudes are fond of that. No matter how sweet you can be to him, doing everything or anything, as in anything from showering him with sweet names, the likes of Hun, Baby-Boo, Lovie, you name it! The cheating Dawg will always be one! So a Malawian lady, by Malawian standards is always supposed to forgive and forget the dude’s silly antics. Should you move out of such a relationship, you’re name-called.

Welcome to Malawi where dudes who have more than one chic are showered with such glitteries as Man-Jack, a Biggy, Shasha etc, but if a Diva does the same, then she’s labeled a whore. Is that fair?

A Malawian man, by Malawian people’s court, can drink all night long….no probs! He’s a man after all. A lady does that…then all hell breaks loose. Is this fair? Search me again!

That’s not all. In M-Dubz, a single successful dude hassled for him to be where he is, but for a single successful Diva, lol and behold!! She’s a Slay Queen who’s using the valley between her legs to earn some fortune. You doubting? Ask my elder Fat Sexy Diva. She knows what I mean! To Nyasalanders, it’s a crime of the highest order for a single lady to be successful. How this came into being, nobody knows.

Worse still, the sight of a female Diva covered in ink is harshly equated to a hooker. How this relationship rose up, only those goddamnit fools know. Ironically, a dude covered in the same is taken as ovaya, mafana apa town. What a shame!

Anyway, I can go on and on showing how being a Malawian lady is nothing but a life full of miseries etcetera. Get me right here, I’m no Boys hater…nadah! I just hate double standards, more especially to the female folk, to which yours truly belongs. The Brown Skinned Sexy Diva has always been a promoter of equality irrespective of sexes. This is why I believe that what a man can do, a woman can also do…even far much better!

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