Tag Archives: Mr bitchless

Mr. Bitchless | ODE TO BLACKOUTS

LIFESTYLE | MR BITCHLESS One development that the year 2017 will always be remembered for in Malawi is persistent extended blackouts. We’ve always had blackouts in Malawi, of course, but when it comes to the longevity and frequency of blackouts 2017 outshined its preceding years by far. For a good chunk of 2017, 24+ hour blackouts were not uncommon throughout ...

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The Marginal Utility of Stussy

LIFESTYLE | MR BITCHLESS “It’s not a taboo. Just kinda gay” –uncredited Last Friday, having had one too many Guaranas and therefore lost his inhibitions, a married mate of mine named Unenesyo confided in me his marital struggles. Coming to think of it, I should call it his marital dilemma. Here is a summary of what he told me. Unenesyo ...

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A Bitchless Sandwich

MR BITCHLESS “‘Fat’ is usually the first insult a girl throws at another girl..” -J.K Rowling Though I boasts to have a stable job in the lucrative NGO sector (thank you poor folks, for without you, Mr. Bitchless would be jobless), at the end of the day, I am just another ordinary thirsty Malawian dude. Yes sir, my job covers ...

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Mr. Bitchless | How to Tackle Pregnancies in Schools Using the Magufuli Philosophy

“After calculating some few mathematics, she’d be asking the teacher in the classroom: ‘Let me go out and breastfeed my crying baby’” -President John Pombe Magufuli Last Monday, September 18, marked the commencement of a new academic calendar for Primary and Secondary schools in the country. As usual, this development means the beginning of another year where the country will ...

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Mr. Bitchless | How Nollywood Ruined Malawi.

“Do unto others as they do unto you” -Anton Szandor LaVey Raised in a nasty environment and, so far, denied the chance to spend his pathetic life with a smart and gorgeous broad on a long-term basis, Mr. Bitchless has always resorted to art as a convenient distraction that allows him to get a necessary respite from his never-ending bitchlessness. ...

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Mr. Bitchless | The Reason Behind Mr. Bitchless’ Meanness

“Man’s reputation is like a shadow. Usually, the shadow is bigger than the man himself” -Unknown It’s obvious that society is misunderstanding Mr. Bitchless Mambo. For this reason, Mr. Bitchless finds it pertinent that his profile should be retold. It is important that he should clear up the mist that is distorting his identity and intentions. He hopes that, by ...

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Mr. Bitchless | The Rise of Bastardy in Malawi

“To tell the truth, one did become used to it” -Franz Stangl Stangl, who served effectively and efficiently as a Commandant of Nazi concentration camps at Sobibor & Treblinka, expressed the above quote in an attempt to exonerate his troubled ass from purported mass killings that characterized the Nazi regime on the prelude to the Second World War. In the ...

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Mr. Bitchless | A Little Bit of Ganja Could Boost Tourism

“Whatever happens, we have got The Maxim Gun, and they have not” -Hilaire Belloc Hailaire Belloc uttered the quote above to emphasize the military superiority that white colonial forces had over their unsuspecting victims here in Africa at the onset of colonization. Hold on a minute: this post isn’t about colonialism nor the “evil whites” and all that “path-dependency” blame ...

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Mr. Bitchless | A Lonely Man’s Prayer

“People who want to share their religious views with you, almost never want you to share yours with them” -Dave Barry Mr. Bitchless is irreligious. As he insinuated in the vacancy, he is a Malawian heathen who loves to throw friendly jabs at organized religion, particularly foreign religions. But having been raised by a slutty yet Christian granny, Mr. Bitchless ...

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Mr. Bitchless | Chanco Tour

“When a man gives his opinon, he’s a man. When a woman gives her opinion, she’s a bitch” -Bette Davis Without a single trace of shame, a 35 year old Mr. Bitchless attended Chanco’s Freshmans party last Friday. Sponsored by Zomba’s hottest obesity perpetrating eatery, this party was a blast that kept girls on their toes throughout. This late night ...

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