ThE SeXy DiVa!
By Love T Msoso.
(The Slim Sexy Diva)
You know, lately, I have noticed that they are a lot of women who are in relationships and they pretend to be happy. Funny thing is that they know for sure that the relationships they are in will not take them anywhere or else if they force it and end up marrying the guy, then it’s gonna be hell on earth. It’s very unfortunate and very sad that these women can’t get out of these relationships. It’s like they are stuck. So, the Slim Sexy diva did a little research on reasons most ladies are still in toxic relationships and “happily” hurt. The only reasons I got sounded so dumb to me.
It is also very unfortunate that most of y’all think that one day things will change in your relationships even when it’s very clear that things can NEVER change. Hello there… Please wake up from your dream!
Anyway lemme not waste your time here. I am here to point out some of the silly excuses y’all give for not dumping that douche-bag even after hurting you.
- Number of years you’ve been together
Most of y’all ladies can’t end that relationship because you’ve dated this guy for so long. But really? You know, I laughed my lungs out one day when a certain lady told me she was so disappointed because I broke up with my ex after dating him for four years. She’s one of the ladies I know is not happy but dating this guy because they’ve dated for so long. I know most of y’all also can’t break up with the guy because you’ve dated for so long… Maybe 10 years, maybe 8, maybe 12. But that’s just one silly excuse sis. 12 years of dating no sign of marriage or engagement and you still with him? Are you doing a PhD in medical studies or what? Y’all gotta stop giving this as an excuse for getting hurt. It doesn’t matter how long you’ve dated someone; what matters is love. You may date someone for 20 years but end up hurting your entire life or date someone just for a year and be happy for the rest of your life. Wise up ladies!
- Memories you share
This other day a certain lady came to the Slim Sexy One crying and asking for advice. I know this woman, she’s in the group of the women we are talking about today. Well, her reason for not breaking up with this dude cracked my lungs with laughter I swear. She’s like “I can’t break up with him because I’m so attached. You know, I share a lot of memories with this guy. We’ve had sex for so long and I can’t just let him go. Am okay with him hurting me…” But really? What if we share memories together? What if he’s slept with you? Who told you you can never find another dude who can make you happy because you share whatever with this one? We all have our past dear fellow divas. We all learn from our past, so stop making whatever you share or did with this guy as an excuse. This one doesn’t hold water at all.
- Fear of losing material things
The other reason I got that most ladies can’t get out of toxic relationships is because most of y’all have twisted the meaning of a relationship. You’ve turned relationships to businesses. You are scared to dump him because you know for sure that it means that you will no longer have anyone to pay for your hairdos or buy you fancy clothes or make ups. No more expensive phones. Some of you are still with him because he has a car or plasma screen and a DSTV decoder at his place. But really? Would you choose material things over your happiness?
- Social Media
This is one of the funniest reasons also because most of y’all are scared of dumping him because you’ve posted him already on the social media. You are scared of questions like ummmm what happened to you and your dude you don’t post him no more? You’re afraid of disappointing the online in-laws. Those ones who posted “my people” on your pictures. That’s the only reason you have happily accepted to wound that innocent heart of yours. But really? Are you gonna let social media decide your fate?
- Family and friends
This is one of the saddest reasons I got. Most of y’all have chosen to make your family and friends happy without considering your happiness. You’ve already introduced this guy to your family and all your friends. They all say he is so cool and that’s why you can’t break up with him. This is silly and sad. It’s not them that’s gonna hurt, it’s you. It’s your happiness that matters. I know that to most of us, family comes first but in the case of matters of the heart my dear sisters, your happiness reigns supreme.
This is one of the dumbest reasons I got. Some ladies are hurting because of the beliefs they have. Be it cultural or religious. They can’t break up with this guy because they’ve been told to marry a guy who has the same cultural beliefs as theirs or because they’ve been told never to marry someone from outside their church. So they’re okay getting hurt by this dude because they’ve same cultural beliefs or because they go to the same church. But really? A 21st century lady still hurting coz of that? Isn’t this one little piece of sh!t? It’s high time y’all open your eyes and act like civilized people.
Anyway, I can go on anon and on and on, uncovering some of the hidden fears wanna-be Diva fail to let go of an abusive relationship.
To all those who are in the scenario I was condoning above, hear this, Don’t forget your intrinsic value as women. You can’t continue to hurt and stay in that relationship because of whatever silly reason that you have. It’s high time you put down the chains that bind you to your broken self. I want you to stop hurting, harming and losing yourself in an effort of trying to put back broken pieces of glass. Y’all can do this if you redefine who you are and recognize the true identity in your hearts. You need to find your true worth. As the say, “The City of Happiness is in the State of Mind!” I’m out!