PERVERT'S NEWS DIGEST
MZUZU: A new conglomerate of Malawian albinos has criticized Malawians and the international community for diverting their attention to victims of Cyclone Idai in Southern Malawi at the expense of albinos in the country. Speaking to the press following a long elegant stakeholders meeting that was held at Mzuzu’s Grandest Hotel, spokesperson of the albino group accused Malawians and the international community of double-standards for “reacting more swiftly to the suffering of victims of Cyclone Idai than they reacted to the albino issue.”
In his convoluted press briefing, the spokesperson lamented the fact that victims of Cyclone Idai in Southern Malawi, together with their comrades in grief in Zimbabwe and the Beira region of Mozambique, have stolen the hard-fought limelight from the plight of Malawian albinos with relative ease.
“Since 2014, we’ve paid with blood, sweat, and tears to win the attention of Malawians and the international community, only to see these guys snatch our hard-fought limelight overnight. It is really painful,” complained the spokesperson to a visibly sombre press.
Added he, “actually, what is more deploring is that when we were on the pinnacle of victimhood, which I can’t believe is as recent as one week ago, the sympathy was solely limited to Facebook & WhatsApp statuses, vile comments on Nyasa Times, prayers and thoughts.
“But look at the sympathy that is pouring to victims of Cyclone Idai. They’re getting cash, food, clothes, and free helicopter rides. We didn’t get any of that. The double-standard treatment is glaring. Malawians and the international community should be ashamed,” posited the spokesperson of the albino grouping.
Reacting to accusations that the albino conglomerate has levelled, one of the victims of Cyclone Idai in Chikwawa, Mayi Fatima Amidu, has labelled the albino grouping as a “manifestation of saltiness.” In her rebuttal, Mayi Amidu, who had recently relocated to Chikwawa from Machinga, advised the general albino population to sort their internal issues before accusing the country and the international community of playing double-standards.
“They [the albinos] had their time to shine, but instead of utilizing it wisely to advance their causes, they allowed money to get to their head. APAM, PACPWA, and now this. What a joke. Please, tell them to let us enjoy our aid and free helicopter rides in peace,” concluded Mayi Amidu, who claims to have lost all her material possessions during the floods.
By press time, our efforts to source comments from the newly formed albino advocacy group on remarks from Mayi Fatima Amidu proved futile.