(FEEDBACK FROM AN AVID FAN)
ThE SeXy DiVa!
By Mariyamungu M’bofe.
Hello Sexy Diva, now the so-called The Famous Sexy Diva, or whatever you’re calling yourself these days. I must admit, I’ve been your avid fan ever since this column came into being, I’m a dude, by the way.
Through this column, I’ve come to have various pictures about your personality. You see, you journalists/writers have this craft of raping our minds as you tend to paint the reality of the world in our minds. It’s like you tend to drive us on what issues to priotize basing on the level of importance you attach to them. So in short, I’m a Sexy Diva addict; not the persona, but the column.
So, over the years, billions of questions have been tingling my mind regarding your personality. So, after deep meditation, I felt enough was enough; I’d to pen you.
Firstly, do you have a guy? To me, you appear to be one hell of a Diva who can’t stay long in a relationship. If your writings are anything to go by, then, I doubt any sane, as in an average Malawian dude (whatever shit that is) can contain a lady of your caliber.
Not only that, but I’ve also sensed that you’re one hell of a chic who’s chockfull of frustrations. Your writing is always anti-dudes. What sin did they commit? Is it that you’ve never had a successful camaraderie with the dudes before and that you just condemned yourself into some sort of a self-imposed online relationship guru?
And why do you always have issues with Slay Queens? Are they your threats? Your writings are clouded with malice and vomit towards our dear Slay Queens as if their hustling is your problem. Ever listened to Ghetto siisunga Kape by legendary Phyzix? I feel you need to stay in your lane and leave Slay Queens to be freely slaying. After all, it’s not your mullahs they’re after. It’s ours.
Equally baffling is, how can we trust you that you really practice what you preach? Your musings do sound that your hatred towards Slay Queens is because you drink from the same well. Their market is yours as well. We, uptown dudes are strongly convinced that you’re a fat version of the Slay Queens. You’re no better than them. You sound more of Slay Queening than the Divaling; if you get what I mean. If you feel offended, lemme offer some free medication. In your next article, tell us your followers any five reasons you are a Diva, and not a Slay Queen. Show us the differences between you and Slay Queens, otherwise, to us, you’re just one.
Above all, why do you always sound as if you’re one damned wiser-than-thou relationship professor? Do we even know your track record in the relationship industry? Have you ever had a successful relationship before? How can you be a Relationship Doctor when you’re nothing but a failure?
Well, since your editor had allocated me not more than 500 words for my feedback, I think I’ve to call it a day here. I’ll continue being your number One fan. Don’t hate me please! Keep on writing.