By Constance Pindikani

“Loving can hurt, loving can mend your heart.” Ed Sheeran

Let’s not go around it, The Young Generation should be aware that everyone, young, middle aged, old, black, white etc, need love. This is romantic love I’m talking about. A need of having a companion; somebody to lean on.

I know, some of us have been heartbroken, or disappointed on countless times. Is it that we love the wrong ones, or is it that we can easily be fooled, or are we just unlucky? Anyway, what of the people that have hurt you, how do they feel? Do they easily get away with it?

What do you do when you are hurt so much? Do you opt for binge drinking? Do you become violent? What is it exactly that you do?

Much as we do get hurt at times, we need to give ourselves grace, never should you let your self fell and let memories become your demise. If you loved someone so much and they hurt you, know that they have moved on, don’t let them hold you back when they forsake you.

I know social media can even make it worse for one. Imagine you never took pictures with your partner, and boom all of a sudden they post pictures of them together, that’s when it hits you hard, to know that you were nothing but a passing time……

People can be inconsiderate, I mean why not tell someone your true intentions beforehand? Why toil with someone’s feelings, and you feel so okay with that?

So, should one keep holding on, crying, feeling bitter, cursing people, hating them? You need to give yourself grace. That’s right, Grace.

Here are some tips that will help you move on, and give you peace.

  1. Do not hold grudges

We often think holding grudges is the best thing to do, but no, it only makes one more bitter and miserable. We should know that life is heavy, and we need to have strength to carry on. Letting go of our bitterness gives us peace of mind, we learn through our mistakes, so let’s try much as possible not to let our selves be reduced to the lowest degree. You Only Leave once mind you! Some might even say it’s easier said than done, but hey, we can do anything we put our mind to.Let’s focus on us, and mend our brokenness on our own.

  1. Love yourself

In a relationship, we often find that we love the other person more than our selves. How can you love somebody when you don’t love yourself? That could turn out bad for someone if they get hurt in the end. I understand we need to love our friends much as we love ourselves, and not the other way round, where you love the other more than your own self. To mend our brokenness, we need love, and love that comes from within you is much more effective than the love that comes from the out side.

  1. Surround yourself with people that can help you carry on, positively.

Some of us find ourselves turning into bad people just because someone hurt us, and we feel sleeping around, drinking, and abusing drugs will help solve the problem. You are free to imbibe, but do not use it to get your problems solved, because when you finally sober up, reality will hit you back, and then you will never permanently get rid of your current problem. You will keep running away from it. Surround yourself with people who love you, and those that can help you forge ahead.

  1. Life is full of ups and downs

We meet different people everyday; we are different in nature, all of us on earth. If someone hurts you, know that that is the difference in us all, some people are kind, some not, some are open some aren’t. What’s left for you is to realize that everyone that come in and out of your life, leaves your good and bad memories, learn to cherish the good, and the bad should give you lessons. Learning people is an awesome feeling, know that people do what ever they do with their own reason, be it selfish or not.

  1. Don’t look down upon your self

We often hate our decisions when they turn out to be bad. We are humans; sometimes we love the wrong people. That is normal. You can never be so sure about other people’s motives towards you. Yes, we might have made the wrong choice in loving them, but that does not warrant to despise ourselves. Learn to embrace our errors for they make us our better selves tomorrow. It is true the past teaches us how to leave the present, but let it not delay us in getting our wrongs right.

Fellow Young Generationers, the hurting process is never ending, we will fall down, get up, and fall down again, and obviously get up again. There are things that strengthen others, and weaken others. If we’re hurt, let’s take out, let’s not keep it in, let’s not resolve into violence, let’s make amends to the past, we all deserve to be happy, let us have the peace of mind always!



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