Sexy Diva


ThE SeXy DiVa!

By Promise T Chandilanga.

Did I tell you that I and that Marcus guy broke up?

Hell Yeah we did!! I mean girl, Niggah came up with a pile of dog poop like he was sorry to have wasted my time (which of course he did) but he didn’t see a “wife material” thingy in me and I should work on myself else I will stay man-less.

I mean, c’mon Hoooooneyy…..! Who does that!!? You know what I told him? I was like hell yeah, know wah dude?! I’d a man before you and nothing can stop me from having a man after you. So leave with your plump solar plexus and limping pocket, and stay in your lane mxiiewww…..I don’t understand men, one minute they want you to…….

Anyway let me save that for another day.

So I’m at my cousin’s place, you know mourning over my break up. You know that damn thing with us, ladies; there are some things that we expect to happen anytime but when they happen we don’t know how to handle them despite our expectations. I knew that that Marcus guy was gonna leave anytime but this pain am feeling right now is unexpected for (sniff). Aaaaaaww my bad! I’m I back to the Marcus-issue? Damn me!!

So yeah, y’all know my cousin got married last year. So I’ve been here like for a week now. Well, despite coming here for my own probs, my cuz also called me to confide in me something that she thought I should know first before it reached the whole clan. It was about her hubby; he’s already filing for a divorce. Yeah, shocking right?! I mean what wrong did she do to deserve a one-year long marriage? Know why I’m saying this?

My cousin is one of the smartest women I’ve ever came across in my whole 23 years here on earth. She is a good cook, she’s gorgeous, intelligent, hardworking… in short let me say she has everything any one can wish for in a woman. I hate to admit this but my cuz is the opposite of me. Yeah, yeah I said it. She is, in all aspects.

So my question was WHY? Why would someone want to leave this beautiful soul? Guess what?….. Her hubby claimed he’s been unsatisfied with her matrimonial services.

You think this is funny? Well, not to me anyway! Not because it’s my cuz we’re talking about here, nuh! but rather, I feel sorry for a number of men dealing with problems like this in the same way her husband did. There are divorce cases out here, with different reasons of all sorts and others with this similar problem though a few can publicly admit.

If you’re a man and you’re reading this, and you haven’t come across this problem, then lucky you. However, you need to know that chances are, you will. Unless of course you’re….eeer, well, a Eunuch or a true catholic Priest of some sort.

Well, here this; I the Sexiest Diva on planet earth is telling you today that the first thing you need is God. Damn yeah! You need the presence of God to help you fight temptations.

Secondly, you need a source of income, a lot of people particularly ladies are afraid to say this but here I am being honest here. Money is everything. There a lot of men out there, but money is money. As a man you need to be a provider, a real man knows it’s his responsibility to provide for his family. No other man will do your wife’s/girlfriend’s hair, no man will buy her gifts, it’s your responsibility!

The other thing you need to understand is that the woman of your dreams, the one who you always picture scrubbing the kitchen floors and doing laundry then get children from school and after that being ready to satisfy you in your chambers, yes? Well that woman doesn’t exist. Apart from novels and movies that Miss Perfecto does not exist. No one perfect. So accept that and know that again it is your responsibility to mould that woman you dream of with the one in front of you. The woman you are with will make mistakes, correct her! She won’t have a perfect smooth body you see in James Bond movies noooo! Accept it or buy her something for those zebra stretch marks!

Your woman will misbehave, y’all dudes know we ladies got the loudest mouths ever since the existence of mankind. Brother, teach your woman what you like and what you don’t like; build her!

And let me say this to you men, (excuse me dear ladies), a lot of good women don’t know much about sex. Yeah, I said it. So to you they are ‘boring’ and you’ll leave your woman who does almost everything right except that and run after a Sex goddess only to realize it isn’t working out. Men, listen, if you don’t like something about your wife or girlfriend, correct her or accept her the way she is. Accept your woman keeps all the money she finds in your pockets when she does laundry or correct how she speaks to you without respect in front of your friends.

Lastly, believe me Misters, that woman you have can also build you into a perfect gentleman as well, you both need to be wise and have the presence of God. Have wisdom to solve conflicts. Conflicts are part of a relationship, yeah babe they are. That’s why you have that for-better-for- worse mantra. People get into relationships or marriage expecting smiles all year round. No way! It doesn’t work like that braza maniiiii! It doesn’t! so dear bros, next time you wanna develop the urge to file for divorce, ask yourself, have you mould her into what you had wanted her to be? If the answer is no, then checkmate! You’re a failure.



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