Dealing with A Suspicious Spouse


By Fiona Jacques Manda (La femme fatale)

“I’ve blocked his number!”

“He wasn’t a man enough for me blablabla!”

Such has been the chunk of gibberish that’s been characterizing girlie’s talk during this corona holiday era. Relationships of most of The Sexy Diva’s friends have hit dead ends…and others are on the path towards that direction.

Come to think of it, The Sexy One is of the view that suspicions…others unwarranted, have been the major ingredient to such demises.

It appears, (to Sexy Diva’s vantage point) that there’s been a series of immaturity, read, lack of proper investigative skills, on how to deal with a suspicious love bird.  You see, many are times that human beings, the women folk in particular, rush into decision making…yet their (the decision’s) consequences at times, tend to be disastrous.

Times, too many to count, have  some of the SD”s friends, lose their special someone all in the name of a suspicious mind, with no accompanying tangible evidence to cement the said doubts.

If there’s one thing that the Sexy One doesn’t wanna see is her girls losing their dudes courtesy of stupidity. Lemme be clear on this one, it’s normal to be suspicious of your other half, however, investigations are key to confirm your suspicions or kick them outta your mind.

So, before you lose another mona in your life, take a look at some of the tips you can apply to deal with a suspicious hubby.  

  1. Study your man pretty good

I know y’all know your better halves from A to Z, if not, then you really have to, you really need to know him inside out. Knowing your hubby ain’t only about his favourite food, his close to heart shoes, blablablah! Naddah! Know the kind of a personality he possesses. This makes things easier when you encounter problems in your relationship. Study your man, know when left is left, and right is right. You can’t just come from nowhere and accuse of your hubby of stuff eg cheating, all coz he’s there’s been a shortage of phone calls from him heading your direction. Understanding what may have led to the change. Mind you, never ever assume anything! You may end up being misled.

  • Bring in the facts

Like I said, if you have your suspicions, and feel your relationship is on the verge of breaking, you surely will be going insane. But, if you wanna deal with the suspicions properly, bring the facts on the table! Nothing beats that! Confronting a dude with no piece of evidence is as good as losing the battle already. What would be your basis for the accusation?  Tell him exactly what you’ve observed on him, show him the pieces of evidence, and then let him explain his side of the coin.

You know what? 21st century dudes don’t give a damn about “I think abcde”…Show him the evidence that you might have garnered over time. That’s the best way of finding out the root of the emotional confrontation.

  • Relax

You’re not right ‘till you hear his side of the issue. In the same way, fuming for a long time over that issue won’t mean anything. So, no matter the depth of your evidence, calm down. Decipher the best way of approaching him to let the dust settle between you two. You just can’t come from nowhere and start yelling on top of your voice. Be mature. Conflicts are day-to-day ingredients of a relationship. Solving them in a civilised manner is what seprates mature from madeya (childish) relationships.

  • Engage him to a civilized conversation

This is the most crucial part of the whole scenario. Your heart might pound so hard, palms can sweat I tell yah, but if you want something successful, let it off your chest. It’s worth it!  You can’t just stay there and become a miserable person all coz of something that can be handled.

Sometimes, it’s better to avoid circumlocution. Go straight to the point and make sure he understands what you wanna talk about. And if he’s wise enough, he’ll realize he’s on death row. Yall have to stop being tortured when you can be set free, I mean,it’s too tormenting to have worries about someone you adore.

  • Be openminded but critical

Be open minded and don’t let your emotions run the better of you. Understanding his side of the story and try to check if it’s fitting properly. Don’t jump into conclusions without properly analysing your side, his side, and the ‘reasonable’ truth. Remember there are always three sides to a story, “Your story, my story, and the truth”. So no matter what? The truth always comes out in the end.  


Dear ladies, Corona virus has already ruined our lives in one way or the other. So, don’t let our emotions ruin us further. Don’t let petty issues or your unwarranted suspicious eat up your relationship. You may cry a river later on.



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