Lifestyle

Mr. Bitchless | A Little Bit of Ganja Could Boost Tourism

“Whatever happens, we have got The Maxim Gun, and they have not” -Hilaire Belloc Hailaire Belloc uttered the quote above to emphasize the military superiority that white colonial forces had over their unsuspecting victims here in Africa at the onset of colonization. Hold on a minute: this post isn’t about colonialism nor the “evil whites” and all that “path-dependency” blame ...

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Mr. Bitchless | Role Models

“Children have never been good at listening to their elders, but they have never failed to imitate them” -James Baldwin Like any other human being, Mr. Bitchless came into this world as innocent as a blank disc. However, society and the circumstances of life thought it wise to install the toxic crap that oozes from his mind. In addition to ...

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SEVEN VISIBLE WAYS TO KNOW THAT SHE IS OBSESSED OVER YOU

By Chimwemwe MWALE. …I want to know Why are you so obsessed with me? Lying that you’re sexing me When everybody knows It’s clear that you’re upset with me…. (Obsessed – Mariah Carey) The first time I’d cast my eyes on the music video, Obsessed, by Mariah Carey, I never thought I could ever live to see my friends fitting ...

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Mr. Bitchless | A Lonely Man’s Prayer

“People who want to share their religious views with you, almost never want you to share yours with them” -Dave Barry Mr. Bitchless is irreligious. As he insinuated in the vacancy, he is a Malawian heathen who loves to throw friendly jabs at organized religion, particularly foreign religions. But having been raised by a slutty yet Christian granny, Mr. Bitchless ...

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SEVEN THINGS I WOULD NEVER DO IF MY GUY DUMPS ME

By Chimwemwe MWALE  Let’s face it! Everything does come to an end; relationships inclusive. Of course, it’s every Chick’s dream, myself inclusive to have that till-death-doth-us part Dude. We, rather most of us, all want that. However, not all our wishes materialize. Sh!& does happen at times. At times, it just doesn’t work, no matter how hard one tries. Thing ...

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Mr. Bitchless | Chanco Tour

“When a man gives his opinon, he’s a man. When a woman gives her opinion, she’s a bitch” -Bette Davis Without a single trace of shame, a 35 year old Mr. Bitchless attended Chanco’s Freshmans party last Friday. Sponsored by Zomba’s hottest obesity perpetrating eatery, this party was a blast that kept girls on their toes throughout. This late night ...

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Mr. Bitchless | SMARTPHONES HAVE BRED WIMPY DUDES

“Right, my phone. When these things first appeared, they were so cool. Only when it was too late did people realize they are as cool as electronic tags on remand prisoners.” – David Mitchell             Mr. Bitchless is a bit worried with the simplicity of 21st Century dating and its social repercussions among contemporary male Under 25. Particularly, Mr. Bitchless ...

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Mr. Bitchless | Ghastly Nurses are Fuelling Death in Hospitals.

“Nurses are the hospitality of the hospital” -Carrie Latet A few weeks ago, I loosened up a bit and told you about my embarrassing ordeal at Mango drinking joint in Kameza, Blantyre. I told you about how Anabella’s thug and his goons caused serious damage to my oily face. These guys beat me so efficiently and effectively that I am ...

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DEAR LADIES, TOO MUCH OF THAT POWDER IS NOXIOUS

By Vanessa NYIRENDA. BEAUTY! Ladies, how do we define our beauty? Does too much of that facial powder make us more striking? Are we really contented with that image from our mirrors? When do we become more gorgeous? Is it before, or that Midas make up after-effect? Do we really look stunning with that make-up onto our faces? Or is ...

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Mr. Bitchless | Malawi is Poor Because of the Poor

“To learn who rules over you, simply find out who you are not allowed to criticize” -Voltaire “Socialism is (an) unparalleled system for duping the public” -Adolf Hitler A paramount lesson that every ambitious Malawian must learn from The Donald’s ascendancy to power is that people are tired of political correctness. With Trump running the world, all of a sudden ...

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