A black man proposing love to a black woman

BEFORE SAYING “YES”, DO SOME SOUL-SEARCHING

ThE SeXy DiVa!

By Fiona Jacques Mandah(La femme fatale)

Falling in love is beautiful, and when one is deep into it, it depicts maturity, for relationships always demand responsibility towards yourself and your partner as well. But then ey! What does it mean to fall in love? Love is the sweetest thing in life, true, but why is it that it is also the main reason people are left shattered, swearing never to love again? Why is this the case?

The Pretty SD, does bump into people who’ve fallen in love, and lost sight of who they are. People have ever been insane, lost their self-identity courtesy of the excitement they licked in love. Drunk in love, you may call it. But that’s not what The SD personally desires for any lucky fella who ‘has found love’

You see, the Sexy Girlie’s philosophy is that it’s wise for youths to have a motive whenever they’re falling in love. Just like before venturing into anything serious, every soul has to have a soul-searching adventure before finally saying “yes” to that love proposal.  

It’s easy to fall in love,but hard to stay in it”

Loved ones, gotta make this clear, before every relationship, one must make sure they define themselves. This simply means you must still be able to recognize your true self even when you’re in an intimate relationship. Love is strange and indescribable, but if you just dive into waters, you may end up choking yourself up. If you can’t recognize yourself with the person you claim to love, don’t go ahead with it, unless all you want is fun and pleasure, something that can easily be accessed. If you don’t define yourself, you’ll end up breaking the heart of those you love, and yours as well for you won’t be comfortable with the relationship, nor give yourself solace. Ask yourself questions, and get answers for them. If you can’t give any plausible answer, know that there’s no future in that so called relationship.

Feeling empty on how to go about it? Here are the clues.

Always know your stand

It really hurts when you’ve been loving a person to the bone but one day you wake up to a shocking realization that they’re the least of your earlier perception of them. A common scenario more especially to those of us who lack self-identity and have no clue about the goal of our camaraderie.   Ain’t no harm in asking your mate what their goals in your relationship are. If it’s an “I DON’T KNOW” response, just pack up you’re a$$ and head home. They ain’t worth your dime. In this WhatsApp generation, you can’t be hanging around folks who are clueless on their steps. They’ll just ruin you.

Be convinced you ain’t just wanna waste someone’s precious time

Time is money and time costs. If you know you’ve no plans to love someone the way they deserve, stay back and wait for the right time. Something that usually pierces the Pretty SD’s heart is hearing someone say “Ndipotaitsilako nthawi uja” Really? Meaning after having the fun, you’ll evaporate after drilling all the happiness from that ‘soul’? Come on!That’s unforgivable! You can’t be brave enough to deliberately play with someone’s love and emotions like crap. No way!! If you want fun, go swimming, go boozing et al, but playing around with somebody’s soul shouldn’t be on your list. Playing with other’s emotions is a kid’s game that has no room in this I-Phone era.

Be ready to face the other side of the coin  

Intimate relationships do come up with some side effects as well. He may be a world class lover but he may have an alcoholic problem. She may be a cute faced Princess, but she may lack brains….life is all about compromising, intimate relationships are no exceptions. This is why it’s important that before uttering that YES to the proposal, make sure you’re pretty aware of some of his shortfalls, and you do accept them. Before saying yes, be ready to understand that there may be some non-negotiable differences between the two birds and you have to accept to live with that. If you can’t, just know relationship ain’t your thing for now.  

My Sexy people, The Sexy one, being one of the victims of this nuisance has had her lessons for a lifetime, and she wants her loved ones not to trek a similar path.

Do some soul-searching before venturing into this serious life journey. It’s simple, give an answer to the question”Who am I? Who are we?Where will this relationship lead?” These questions will, at the end of the day, give you the necessary information that you’re missing.You would find out that your relationship has no path, has no future. Don’t move in the dark, blinded by infatuation. Don’t mistook infatuation from love. Just be yourself, stay focused, let love flow and don’t let love make you lose sight of yourself.

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